Dear Self,
Christmas this year was very stressful, to the point of
exhaustion. Eventually I began to feel
relaxed and enjoyed the season. I want
to remember the things that helped and what didn’t so I can do it better next
year.
First what I did right.
We decorated before Thanksgiving.
A week or two before I think. I
was afraid of decorating too soon for fear that I would be sick of the décor before
the holiday came. That never
happened. It was just nice to have the Christmas
decorations up all through the season.
Second good thing, I gave gifts of treats to my co-workers
early. I didn’t have to worry about them
thinking I was giving them something because they had given me something; I
just wanted them to know how much I appreciated them early in the season. They were small gifts and set a precedent in
the office of just giving something to let them know you are thinking of them.
Third thing that I do right is give each child $20 per other
person in the family to do their own Christmas shopping, and have them go
shopping with each other. That way I don’t
influence their decisions and they learn to think of the other people in the
family and how to budget their money.
They can also choose to go in with another brother to buy something that
costs a little more than they have.
From there it got stressful.
I organized my gifts list for my kids, so they would all get the same
amount, but it was still so stressful trying to figure out if someone needs
more of this or that… if a child will be upset that all he got for Christmas
was clothes. I recognized as I was
shopping that I would see things that I know they would like and that I wanted them
to have, but I wouldn’t buy these things
other times of the year because I am trying to be responsible with my money,
and not spoil my kids. However at Christmas
you want your kids to get everything they want and to have a glut of “stuff”
that they don’t get any other time of year, because that is the “magic” of Christmas. I got
to be so crazy that I didn’t even like Christmas any more. I think the gift
buying and contemplating is the worst part of Christmas each year. So next year I will let the kids know that we
are doing something different. They will
each get 3 gifts from Mom that will be representative of the 3 gifts that the
wise men brought to Jesus. 1 thing that they want, 1 thing that is meaningful
and 1 thing practical. And there will be a definite financial cap on
each child. I put away money for Christmas
throughout the year, and that was really helpful to get through the season
without getting in any debt. (A few Christmas bonuses didn’t hurt either)
Another really important part of Christmas is that it is a
time to reach out to people that you may not talk to, or give recognition to
during the year. I think this is
something that most people do, but it is really important to me, and a part of
my personal “Christmas Traditions.” This
is also something that gets procrastinated every year and can cause a lot of
stress as I continue to think about it throughout the season. The more I think about something and try to
remind myself to “get around to it” the more stress that can cause. Once these things were completed, that was
when I truly began to relax and enjoy the season. The things that I really want to do each year
to complete this goal are the following.
1.
Create and mail out Christmas cards
2.
Bring treats and Christmas greetings to
neighbors and nearby friends.
3.
Give token gifts or treats to co-workers.
4.
Visit and bring treats the ladies I visit teach.
To me these are the things that make Christmas feel like Christmas.
The work parties, and church parties and community events
can be a fun part of Christmas, but they shouldn’t add to the stress of an
already too busy month. I will attend
parties if I have time and am looking forward to them. I will not waste my energy on parties that
come at difficult times and we are not looking forward to them…that is one
stress that we can avoid.
Finally, the most important part of Christmas is sharing the
spirit of Christ within the family and with anyone else that we can. We have a book that has a countdown to Christmas
with a scripture, song and story for each day of December. If we did just one thing each night it would
help. Even if we only read the stories
for Family Home Evening each Monday, we would have been better off this
year. There was so much busy stuff that
we didn’t take time to even remember that the birth and atonement of Jesus Christ
is the full and complete meaning of all of the celebration anyway. How often we as humans forget or simply do
not understand that the birth of Jesus Christ on the earth, is the one hope of
meaning in this difficult life. Without
the Savior, we would not be able to change and repent and become a person that
we truly can be. The Savior made it
possible for us to erase the mistakes and even rebellions that we have been a
part of, if we make the choice to change…if we really want to be better. I want to be able to return to his presence,
and I want the people I love to be with me.
I imagine it is something like, when you first leave home, you need to
go back to your family occasionally just to know that you have someone who
loves you no matter what. I know that
God and our Savior Jesus Christ love us no matter what and would want to
encircle us in their arms if we would just come to them and allow the atonement
to work in our lives so that we can worthily be in their presence. I want my children to have a full understanding
of this and know that no matter what they face, they can find the strength they
need to conquer, because Christ will be by their side helping whenever he is
truly invited to be.
I have already done some of the things that are important to
me to make changes in the Holiday routine…things that have made Christmas better. But as with everything in life, there is
always room to do better and become more.
Life is not like a glass that you fill up and then you are done, because
it is full and you can’t put in more. It
is more like building a grand castle. You can choose to stop when it is
comfortable, even cozy and happy, or you can choose to continue to build it
bigger and greater, through learning more, giving more, loving more and seeking greater opportunities
to feel the spirit in your life, and the lives of the people that you have
influence over. We can choose to grow
and become more with each passing day.
Sometimes it takes a reminder somewhere to jump start us out
of a comfort zone of complacency and allow us a vision of why we keep working.
A note to self:
continue to study your scriptures and review your emotional first aid
kit, whenever you forget why you should keep trying. Remember that life is
good, and always remember that you are loved.